Picture this:
A vast countryside in rural Illinois. It is midsummer noon and the sun is beating down fiercely on our lush, well-tended farmland, and you are one of the three naked and collared male slaves tending to my crops. I ride a gallant purebred horse and with a spirited neigh from my loyal stead, pull up next to my maize plot, and dismount. I am clad in knee-high leather boots, well tailored breeches, showcoat and stocktie; a sight to behold, so magnificent it hurts you to watch. You squint in and rise your eyes to me, only to lower it down again, afraid to meet with my gaze. I am holding a ridding crop as I land a well aimed hit on your shoulder. "You
are moving way too slowly," I growl. In the far corner of your eye, another male slave is chained to a stock, exposed to the elements of the cruel Illinois summer. He has been left there since three days ago with a measly gruel, as punishment for breaking a piece of Chinaware after a dinner party. You, amongst a hundred-and-one aspiring slaves answered a classified ad, culled to a shortlist of twenty-nine to be privileged permanent, full-time slaves at my Fempire. You willingly resigned from your high paying career, transferred your life savings into a trust fund held by us, signed off your rights irrevocably just to be our owned slaves. And you'd do it again without a bat of an eye.
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Or perhaps another similar fantasy - another piece of kink fodder - influenced by porn that has shaped your definition and fantasy of submission and ownership. Porn simplifies and trivialises the concept of submission and ownership; consequently becoming the template of submission and ownership envisioned by many.
But that is neither ownership nor submission.
If you are just in kink for the lifestyle, then as long as play is carefully negotiated between all parties involved, that's great. But if you are an individual seeking submission to a dominant in hopes of an eventual D/S relationship (i.e. ownership), read on:
Stop leading in with your fetish
I often receive requests from submissives clamouring to offer their tribute, their penile chastity, their time and services in worship. Yes, that is submission at face value - the offering of what you have to your Goddess. But to that, I return the question - are you doing it for me or are you doing it for your innate fantasy to 'submit'?
The human problem with submission - double standards
Left to our own devices, the sinful will always sin. If you claim submission to your dominant in true obedience and lawfulness, yet scorn on a worker on the street, do you still hold the essence to submission? Submission is the constant humility to value others above oneself.
Submission - start with serving yourself
Self-respect is the first and foremost value quintessential to me. Self-respect is knowing who you are and humbly accepting that we are all a work-in-progress, constantly learning and evolving. It is about being accountable and staying true to your own values, even if it is difficult at times.
Next - serving those around you
In humility and empathy, to value others above self. It requires an understanding our own position of privilege and intersectionality and how it affects people around us.
And finally, submission towards me
For where your heart is, your treasure will be also. Honouring humility and a deeper appreciation of what I do, in your personal and professional capacity, what can you offer me?
Then, what is a D/S relationship and ownership?
A D/S relationship and ownership between a dominant and a submissive goes beyond a transactional relationship of literal worship, or one-way servitude, but a mutual bond forged through love, manifested through submission and ownership. This love, expressed through submission and ownership, is an act of giving, of which we love those whom we give.
There is no final grade, no balanced scorecard
Submission isn't the activation of the limbic and nervous system processing emotions, and the endocrine system causing the surge of dopamine and norepinephrine leading in to arousal and neediness to serve (or horniness, if you may), but the regeneration of our older self, to a renewed self and conscious, guiding us in understanding submission. D/S relationships and ownership isn't the mark of the worthiness of a submissive, but it represents passages of pain, hard work, and eventually redemption.
Surprise: you don't need a dominant to work on your submission. Do something about it, today. Learn and grow in your own personal capacity. Prove to yourself that you have what it takes to be the best submissive you can be, before proving your worthiness to us. And if you do, can you appreciate the community we have painstakingly built and the values we collectively hold. Only then, may you be permitted to pass through our doors.
Now, what does submission mean to you?
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More about our professional ethics as a professional dominatrix/femdom in Singapore: here