This month marks my fourth year as a Professional Dominatrix, and eleven (plus minus) in the kink scene. An illustrious four years - touring internationally, mentoring Dommes, taking media interviews, building my close-knit kink circle... all marked achievements for revelries, but anniversaries are always a poignant time for reflections.
The past four years have flown past in a bat of an eyelid. While it was technically possible for any pro-wannabe to pick up a cane, put herself out for sessions and call herself a pro (and frankly speaking that was how I started in the Halloween of 2019) but what maketh a good Dominatrix?
Just a month ago before my US tour I was getting worried about touring NYC. Unlike San Francisco where I had previously toured twice and having developed a network in, NYC was a whole new city altogether. Eventually those worries went unfounded. Ms Lilith and I were privileged to session out of Dia Dynasty's Temple, Mistress Shayla's Chez-La and Mistrix Sade's playspace. Shermie and Bruce, fetched us from and to airports, showed us the community and taught us fire play. I learnt not just about hosting in a new city, but what it meant to build safe spaces to foster an inclusive, conscientious, consent-based community for all. A Dominatrix is not born; she is birthed and raised by the community, forged by the flames of generations of predecessors and leaders. A week in NYC offered me a glimpse into the community that they have built, but what kept me marvelled was the depth of their work, the iceberg below the surface.
With my approaching anniversary, I learn to express my gratitude for all those who have provided the opportunity and support towards my days of formative growth; those who have lit a candle alongside me in solidarity. People who have taught me the ropes (literally and figuratively), opened their spaces to me, mentored me, helped me refine my pitch note, and so on. The world is my oyster, but the ocean is the ecosystem which raised me. My success means nothing if I can't share it with ya'll. Thank you x
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Three years a Dominatrix: here
Two years a Dominatrix: here
About FemDom, Goddess Ashley: here