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What is BDSM?

Updated: Sep 29, 2021

Formally seen as a deviant sexual activity, BDSM was initially popularised by Fifty Shades of Grey, and more recently, Netflix's hit series, Bonding.


The acronyms, 'B', 'D', 'S' and 'M', stands for 'Bondage', 'Discipline', 'Sadism' and 'Masochism', as well as 'Domination and Submission'. Activities vary, ranging from pet play, bondage & predicament, impact play, sensory deprivation, sissification, humiliation, role-reversals and the like. Toys can include canes, bondage ropes, nipple clamps, Hitachi wands, vibrators, strap-on dildos, chastity devices and more.


To the vanilla outsider, however, causing pain and humiliation is said to be perverse - or at best, controversial. The vanilla outsider struggles to understand our desires, values and practice.


However, professional BDSM practitioners, honed in their art, can stimulate somatic perceptions of pain and pleasure, similar to a runner's high - a heightened state of adrenaline-fueled mixed pleasure. Subspace, as it's usually called, is characterised by incoherence, loss of control, lightheadedness, increase in respiration and heart rate or dizziness. Many would describe it as a 'floaty', out-of-body experience. Subspace can be triggered through varied forms of stimulation - some submissives can be triggered by pain, fear, humiliation, power exchange, submission to a female dominatrix, sensory overload or just simply by being 'in the act'!


Within the session, it is possible that the sub experiences two contrasting sensations - pain/discomfort and pleasure, where the latter blankets the former. In such cases, pain is no longer traumatizing nor cold, but a prelude to causal, synchronized euphoria.


BDSM, pain, humiliation, and bondage can be an enigma. Let us be your guide.


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