BDSM Glossary: All the Terms You Should Now

BDSM and kink live by a few rules: consent, communication, mutual respect and safety. That’s not flavor text - it’s the baseline of what we do and who we are. Negotiate limits, agree a safeword (and a non-verbal backup), have aftercare plans, and only do things you fully understand and are able to execute safely (As a top of course). Now the glossary.

Suspension bondage

Roles

Top & Bottom: In layman terms, the Top refers to the person is doing the action (tying, spanking, administering sensation), while the Bottom is the person receiving it. A Top isn't necessary a Dominant; while a Bottom isn't necessary a Submissive too!

Dom & Submissive (Dom/Sub): In the power dynamics between parties a Dom provides structure, direction, or authority; a Submissive gives up control within negotiated boundaries. Can be formal (D/s relationships) or session-based.

Switch: Someone who enjoys playing both sides: they can dominate or submit, depending on mood, partner, or session.

Fetishist: A person who is not necessarily a submissive or dominant, but someone who experiences strong sexual or erotic interest towards a particular material, object or scenario, such as latex, zentai or leather.

Daddy & Little: A relationship dynamic within age-play (see below) and broader power exchange: Daddy is often caregiver/authority; Little adopts a younger, more dependent role. Important: adult role-play only, all partners must be consenting adults.

Kinks (entry-level explanations + safety notes)

Anal Play / Prostate Milking: Stimulation of the anus and/or prostate for pleasure. To note: use lube, go slow, respect hygiene, and never switch between anal and vaginal without changing condoms or cleaning. Prostate play can be intense; stop if pain occurs. A guide to trying anal play for the first time here: link

Age Play / ABDL — Roleplay involving age regression or baby/diaper themes. All participants must be legal adults; negotiate hard limits. This is a psychological scene, aftercare and boundaries matter.

CBT & Ballbusting — Cock and ball torture / strikes to the groin. These can cause permanent damage if done incorrectly. Avoid heavy, prlonged and heavy impact to the testes whenever possible; if you’re curious, seek education from experienced practitioners and prioritize safety and medical knowledge. Many people in the community avoid severe strikes entirely.

Bondage

• Simple: scarves, cuffs, basic rope ties.

• Predicament: binds that force a choice between two uncomfortable positions.

• Suspension: the person is lifted off the ground. Safety note: learn proper rope anatomy, circulation checks, and never do suspension without training and backup. Suspension is one of the highest-risk practices in rope play. Always have a spotter.

  
  

Chastity Devices & Keyholding — Physical devices that prevent genitals from being touched; keyholding is the giver of control who keeps the key. Can be psychological power play; ensure hygiene, sizing, and safe removal plans.

CNC (Consensual Non-Consent): A roleplay that simulates non-consensual scenarios but is consensual in reality. Extremely risky emotionally and legally. If this interests you, do not improvise: negotiate hard limits, safe words, and have clear out-of-scene consent; consider working only with very trusted partners.

Crossdressing / Sissification: Wearing clothes traditionally associated with another gender; sissification is often a humiliatory or feminization kink, whereby crossdressing can be empowering for those who are gender fluid. Consent and context are everything,never coerce someone to crossdress.

Enemas: Introducing fluid into the rectum for cleansing or play. Medical risks include infection and electrolyte imbalance if done excessively. Use appropriate equipment, clean technique, and limit frequency.

Foot Worship: Self explainatory, erotic attention to feet (kissing, massaging, licking), may sometimes include stockings, socks, heels, or other forms of footwear.

Forced Bi: A roleplay fantasy where someone is “forced” into bisexual acts. Like CNC, this must be fully consensual background-negotiated roleplay. Real non-consensual sexual coercion is illegal and unethical. If you see this as a kink, delineate boundaries clearly, and check in for STI status.

Humiliation / Degradation: Eroticizing shame or insult. Can be psychologically powerful; never use this to exploit trauma, and always discuss limits and aftercare.

Impact Play (Light and Heavy): Striking with hands (spanking), paddles, crops, etc. Light = sensual swats; heavy = forceful impact. Learn target zones (avoid kidneys, spine, head), check circulation, and use consensual scaling. Heavy impact may leave marks on skin, do negotiate contigency plans and individual preferences prior.

Golden Showers: Urine play. Low pathogen risk compared to genital fluids, but still requires negotiation and understanding of boundaries and hygiene. Also known as golden champagne.

Needle Play: Piercing or superficially inserting needles for sensation. This carries bloodborne pathogen risks and infection. Only done by trained professionals using sterile, disposable equipment; many community practitioners refuse to do this for novices.

Nipple Clamps: Devices that pinch the nipples for sensation. Start light, monitor for circulation loss and excessive pain. Prolonged use can cause tissue damage.

Pegging: A person with a strap-on penetrates a receptive partner anally. Communication, lube, and gradualness are key. A guide to trying anal play for the first time here: link

Sensory Deprivation: Blindfolds, hoods, earplugs to reduce senses and heighten others. May include one or more senses. Can be disorienting; always confirm nonverbal safewords and check in.

Small Penis Humiliation: Erotic verbal or roleplay humiliation about penis size. Psychological risks here, don’t exploit insecurities; ensure enthusiastic participation.

Servitude: Power exchange where one person performs tasks or domestic services as kink. Can be long or short term; negotiate labor limits and real-world responsibilities.

Sensual Wrestling: Physical, erotic grappling with consented limits. Good cardio, clear safe words, and agreed no-go zones prevent injuries.

Urethra Sounding: The insertion sounds into the urethra. High risk of infection, urethral damage, and long-term complications if not done properly. If interested, seek medical advice and professional training, not for first timers.

Final notes

This glossary is a starting map, not a how-to. For anything with needles, suspension, urethral work, or high-impact striking, get proper training for tops, use sterile tools, and never improvise. For bottoms: please be aware of how it will be carried out and the associated risk.

Consent is ongoing, revocable, and real: if your bottom says “no” at any point, respect it. For bottoms, there is no shame in using your safewords. Aftercare is not optional: it’s the soft landing that keeps play humane.