Aftercare in BDSM and Post Sex: Caring for Emotional and Physical Well-Being

Aftercare matters. Whether you engage in BDSM or other sexual activities, taking care of yourself and your partner/submissive/bottom afterwards is key to a healthy relationship and enjoyable experience. In this post, we look at why aftercare is important, how to address both emotional and physical needs, and what you can do if you experience postcoital dysphoria.

What is Aftercare?

Aftercare is the time you spend caring for yourself and your partner or bottom after sex or a BDSM scene. It is a period for recovery and comfort. For many, it is as important as the action itself.

Key Aspects of Aftercare

• Emotional and Physical Care:After a scene, you may feel vulnerable. Taking time to relax and connect can help you feel safe and calm. Check in with yourself and your partner. Share a hug, hold hands, or simply talk about your feelings. Share a warm cup of tea or chocolate can help the post-session drop.

  
  

• BDSM Aftercare: In BDSM, aftercare helps repair any emotional or physical stress. Simple actions like offering water, a blanket, or words of affirmation can make a big difference. It helps both partners reconnect and feel cared for. This is especially so when the session contains a heavy amount of emotional play, such as humiliation, degredation or abandonment.

  
  

• Caring for wounds: This is especially essential for any BDSM play that involves elements of pain or breaking of skin. Any bruises, abrasions or other injuries would need to be tended to. This might mean cleaning and bandaging of open wounds such as cuts or cane marks, rubbing aloe vera cream or similar on an ass that’s been spanked and so forth. A first aid kid should be part of your BDSM kit!

  
  

• Dealing with Postcoital Dysphoria: Sometimes, after sex, people can feel sad or anxious. This is called postcoital dysphoria. It is a normal response for some. It can stem from a combination of factors, including hormonal fluctuations, past trauma, relationship issues, and underlying mental health conditions. Taking time for aftercare may help reduce these feelings. Discussing these emotions with someone you trust can also help.

  
  

• Words of Affirmation: Simple, genuine words can boost your mood. Tell your partner you appreciate them. Share how you feel in a clear and honest way. These words of affirmation can help create a sense of closeness and trust.

  
  

How to Practice Aftercare

1. Plan Ahead: Discuss aftercare with your partner before your encounter. Knowing what you need helps both of you prepare for a safe and caring experience. Factor in additional time post-session, rather than a 'wham-bam-thank you ma'am' kind of situation.

   
   

2. Mix Emotional and Physical Care: After a scene, spend some time together. Some people may prefer a quiet conversation, while others may benefit from a hug or gentle touch. Do what feels best for you.

   
   

3. Listen to Your Emotions: Reflect on your feelings after sex. If you notice signs of postcoital dysphoria, give yourself time and space to understand those emotions. It is okay to need support.

   
   

4. Keep it Simple: Aftercare does not have to be elaborate. Even small gestures, like making sure you both have water to drink, can have a big impact.

What is 'top drop' and how do I practice aftercare for my Dominatrix in a Professional Session?

Surprise, your Dominatrix does experience 'top drop' after a session and may need aftercare! A 'top drop' happens after an intense session when the surge of adrenaline and endorphins that keeps Her energetic and focused gradually drops. This sudden shift in hormones can lead to feelings of fatigue and low mood. This can be evident if Her energy level drops after the session, and may be kicking off her heels or talking slower after the session with you.

What is the best way to help your Dominatrix manage top drop and after care? Simple: not overstay your welcome. As a client, knowing your boundaries with your Dominatrix is paramount. Giving her the time and space to decompress, and leaving promptly on time after a session is the best thing to do for Her. Do not linger after your time is up, or offer to take her out for a meal/coffee to 'decompress' or to 'chill'. What you want may not be what your Dominatrix wants!

Conclusion

Aftercare is more than just cleaning up after a scene. It plays a crucial role in supporting both your emotional and physical well-being. Whether it’s through simple words of affirmation or mindful actions, taking time for aftercare can lead to healthier, more satisfying experiences. Remember, a little care goes a long way in helping you feel safe and connected after sex or BDSM play.