If you are reading this, then you must be keen on meeting a Singapore professional dominatrix (or ‘prodomme’ for short) for a session. Like the many first-timers we meet in my sessions, you might be feeling excited yet nervous at the same time. No worries, in this guide, we have compiled some tips and advice to help you along your first BDSM experience with a prodomme in Singapore.
But first, why approach a professional dominatrix at all?
Often, the main reason that people want their first BDSM experience to be with a prodomme in Singapore is because they are, well, professionals. When it comes to situations like these, people who want to dip their toes into BDSM may feel uncomfortable showing their vulnerable sides to a complete stranger. However, prodommes like us uphold certain standards and values such as your personal well-being—both physically and mentally—and to respect the boundaries of our clients.
Other reasons why people like the idea of meeting a Singapore prodomme is because most have taken the time and effort to hone their craft in many different aspects. This means several things for people like you:
A curated experience. Sure, good prodommes are able to deliver a good whipping if their submissives are into that. But great prodommes know how to deliver an end-to-end experience, from the moment you first meet them, to during the session (usually in the form of role-playing, and towards the end of a session where you’d share how you felt about the experience).
Learning and self-discovery. More than just dishing out punishments, an attentive prodomme also knows how to teach you several lessons about yourself, your kinks and desires. For this reason, prodommes are the perfect partners for you to explore the world of kink with.
Discretion. We understand, BDSM still feels like a taboo to some people in many parts of the world, and you’d like your experiences to be as discreet as possible. Just as we’ve mentioned earlier, we respect the boundaries of our submissives and that also goes to keeping our dom-sub relationship discreet as well.
In essence, prodommes in Singapore focus on the experience of kink and roleplay fulfilment. So if those are the areas you are keen to explore, go right ahead! But if you are looking for something else, we suggest you look elsewhere.
How do I go about choosing a professional dominatrix in Singapore?
You might be surprised but the number of prodommes offering their services in Singapore has risen, and with many prodommes making their presence felt online, people looking for an experience could be left spoilt for choice. How should one go about choosing whom to meet?
To get things started, you should be doing some research. Sure, a prodomme could have the looks to die for, but good looks alone doesn't make one a good prodomme. Neither does that verify that she is a real person as well! (Yes, there are catfishers out there -a or they could be scammers wanting to gain a quick buck with a “deposit” from you).
Here’s what you need to look out for when you do your research:
Do they have a website? It’s one of the first indicators that tell you they’re real. Be sure to look out for reviews from their clients as well.
Do they have a social media presence? Not only should you check if they’re on social media, you’d also need to see how they engage with other people online. It’s about finding out how they treat other people to get a gauge of how she might treat you as a person.
Do they own BDSM gear, toys or other implements? We’re not talking about just owning a cane to whoop your ass or a dildo and harness to peg you with here. A prodomme who owns a number of gear sufficient to deliver the experiences she touts for is a sign that she’s legit.
Do they sound like they know their stuff? Good prodommes who are in the profession for the long-run invest in themselves, their skills and knowledge. Does their website or social media convey this message? If yes, then she could be a prodomme you’d like to meet. If not, look for someone else.
How do I shortlist the prodomme?
Once you’re confident that the prodomme you’d like to meet is authentic and real, the next step in your decision-making process is to figure out if your kinks and interests align not only with what the prodomme can provide, but also be compatible with her style of play or domination.
A great place to start is her social media or personal website. What does she say in her bio or ‘about me’ page? Is she the sort of prodomme that is totally sadistic or does she take more of a liking towards sensual domination? If you’re looking for play sessions that are more sensual and involve lots of teasing, then the latter may be more suitable for you. But, if you aren’t really into those things and much prefer receiving corporal punishment, the meeting the former may be more aligned with your kinks. Or, another example could be that you have a specific love for fetish wear, such as leather, PVC or latex. Then in that case, a prodomme that shows off herself wearing those clothes can be a sign that both of you enjoy similar kinks and are suitable to play together.
Another piece of advice relates to the prodomme’s personality and vibe. Look through her tweets, Instagram stories, whatever on her social media feed. Does she sound like someone you’d like to meet in real life, and also the person who’d be playing with you in the bedroom? If the answer is yes, she’ll most likely be a good prodomme to meet.
Just make sure that whatever the prodommes’ kinks are, that it’ll be something you’d enjoy during a session with her, and that she also seems like she can create memorable experiences around those kinks and fetishes, too.
Is my fetish or kink weird?
Speaking of kinks and fetishes, if you are new to BDSM and the lifestyle, chances are that we’ve probably encountered other people who have similar desires, so what you’re into or what you’d like to explore won’t be weird to us. We would have seen it all!
However, I’d like to give you a note of caution. While prodommes can be open minded towards all forms of kinks and fetishes, we still maintain a sense of professionalism and along with it, limits that we don’t cross with our submissives.
For example, some prodommes may be partnered in their personal lives and are intimate with their partners, but that doesn't mean that they, too, would engage with physical or sexual intimacy in a professional setting. In this case, check out her services page for her dos, dont’s and limits. Common limits amongst prodommes may include brown showers, needle play, all forms of permanent injuries, public exhibitionism or sexual forms of intimacy (as mentioned above).
How should I go about booking?
Now you have narrowed it down to a particular prodomme, great job! But hang on, don’t be hasty to send her a message yet. Making the right first impression counts, and you don’t want to look like a submissive who can’t follow simple instructions. Many prodommes will use this as their first line of screening submissives. Submissives who struggle to follow clearly laid out instructions before they even meet their dommes aren’t worthy of their time. So, take a look at her website or profile again. Did she specify how a booking should be placed, such as filling up a form or sending an e-mail?
Be it filling up a form or writing an email to the prodomme, be sure to put some thought in your message. A good introduction usually includes your name (don’t give a real name, for privacy reasons), kinks, any past experiences with BDSM and what you’re looking for in a session. Be courteous, polite, and give as much information and insight to who you are and why you are booking this session as possible. Never just start a message with ‘Hi, I want to try BDSM’, and leave it as such! You would not be getting a reply.
Sometimes you don’t know what you like yet, and that’s OK. In cases like this, most prodommes will follow up with questions to help you navigate the world of kink. Good prodommes will always guide new subs in a safe and consensual manner. If you have a specific kink that you’d like to explore with her, say a certain roleplay, for example, then state it clearly and upfront, so she’d be able to prepare the outfits and the roleplay’s narrative for the session.
Finally, most—if not all—prodommes would require a fixed deposit to confirm your session with them. This is another method for prodommes to screen time-wasters, and it’s common practice in the trade. Do check with her what method of payment she’s most comfortable with and make the deposit promptly. While privacy may be of concern to you, if you’d really want to session with her, I’m sure you will be able to find a way to.
That said, here are some things you should not do:
Do not use your real identity. And if you’re sending an email, create a new email address solely for contacting your prodomme.
Do not spam the prodomme with follow up messages if she doesn't reply to you. Be patient. Messages and emails are replied to at her convenience.
Do not ask for a session on the day itself. Prodommes don’t sit around waiting for sessions. Most prodommes would require bookings 48 hours in advance.
Do not negotiate with her for the deposit, or attempt to claim that you have been scammed before. Credible prodommes aren’t here to trick you of your money.
How should I prepare for the session?
Treat going to the session as if you’d go for a date. You’re meeting someone for the first time and as mentioned, first impressions count.
Most prodommes would have their own protocols for you before you show up to a session and do follow them to the T. Depending on what’s on the agenda for your session, your pro-domme might require you to bring some toys, items or clothes. She might also require you to prepare your body for the session. For example, if you’re expecting anal play, then please give yourself an enema prior to meeting her (Blindjaw has a nifty visual guide on how to do this properly).
Have a good night’s sleep and avoid drinking alcohol before the session as you do not want to go into a session intoxicated—this is for your safety as you’re not in a good position to give consent when you’re drunk. Finally, dress neatly, don’t be a slob, and if possible, have a shower before coming over for the session. We can’t stress this enough: first impressions matter.
It’s session day! What should I do?
Find your way to the location given to you as per her instructions. Needless to say, she’d have strict instructions for you about the location, so do not disclose it to anyone. Respect her privacy as you would want yours to be respected.
Punctuality is a virtue and as the saying goes: to be early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late, and to be late is to be forgotten. Arriving 5 to 10 minutes early is usually preferred, but please try not to arrive too early, as your prodomme may have just finished another session beforehand. She’ll tell you when she’s ready and that’s your cue to meet.
Now, after entering the space, the goddess of your dreams is here, so be polite and courteous when you see her. Extend a handshake, or if she extends a hug, lean in for one. Address her as you did with her prior and use her preferred honorific—‘Queen’, ‘Mistress’, ‘Goddess’, you get the drift.
The next thing most prodommes would do is to do another round of consultation with you. If you are new and still unsure on what to expect, this is when you should voice out any lingering questions and concerns that you may still have. For example, if you cannot have any marks on your skin, be it bruises caused by impact play, rope marks from bondage, or if you cannot kneel for prolonged periods of time, it is fine for you to bring it up again. This is when your prodomme may also help with any additional questions to put your mind at ease before the session starts. This consultation usually doesn’t count towards the session time, so don’t be worried about it eating into your session.
Additionally, during this consultation, your prodomme may also brief you on the plans for your roleplay (if there is one) and remind you of the safety protocols and how to execute them. That is, knowing your safe words (or safe actions if you’re in a position where you can’t speak) and how to use/demonstrate them. Again, if you are feeling unsure about something, ask.
During the session, don’t be afraid to let go and be yourself. Nobody likes an unresponsive doormat, so moan, whimper, or even beg if you’d like to! Being expressive with your voice and body language gives real-time feedback to your prodomme to gauge your engagement towards the play.
Of course, don’t forget and don’t be afraid to use your safewords if you have to. Use your safe words if you need your prodomme to slow down play, or to switch to another activity. Being vocal about your safewords isn’t a sign of disrespect towards your prodomme, but an important part of communication and your safety.
Here are some possible scenarios where you may use your safewords:
Your knees start to hurt after kneeling
Your fingers or extremities feel numb and uncomfortable from you being tied up,
You are approaching your pain threshold during impact play
You are hyperventilating and feeling giddy, and so on.
While prodommes may be experienced to spot the signs and symptoms before things go bad, we are not mind readers, so please voice out!
What should I do after the session?
Playtime has ended and you might be thinking, that was fun! You may still be feeling slightly overwhelmed, or feeling a bit ‘floaty’ in your mind. This is what we call tapering off subspace, an emotional and psychological response, and it is perfectly normal.
You may find that once the session ends, the scene breaks and any rules imposed for the sake of the session and play don’t apply anymore. For instance, this means that if you had to kneel down at all times before, you probably don’t need to be kneeling down anymore. Take this opportunity to have a shower and decompress.
If your prodomme still has some time at the end of the session, she may extend a post-session debrief or have a chat with you. It is perfectly fine if you are unable to articulate your thoughts and feedback about the session at this point in time. You can take the day or two after the session to process your experience, emotions and thoughts before you share them with your prodomme. And when you do share them, be as frank as possible with your feedback, as they go a long way towards part of your prodomme’s learning.
In summary:
Do your research to find a prodomme in Singapore
Follow her protocols and instructions
Be polite
Have fun!
All the best in your kinky adventures, little ones!